Being a mama and a wife and a homemaker is hard. Like, really, really hard. From the pregnancy itself to the rearing, it’s hard. A couple of “you chose to have all those kids” comments on other people’s posts about their struggles has totally deterred me from voicing my own struggles as a mama. Until now.
In a society where life is so devalued, where parenting is seen as an impediment to a “fun” life and success and the like, I think subconsciously I want to make it seem easier so as not to discourage others. But then I set other mamas up for failure. I often find myself thinking I “should” be more patient/better dressed/have a cleaner house and the like, and that those things would come naturally and easily with accepting my vocation. But, nope.
It’s hard. And it’s work. But so what?
Our society is one that glorifies the fast and easy, so its no wonder us mamas want our lives to reflect the norm. Voice a struggle, especially one as out-there as having more than 2.4 kids, and all the niceties go out the window. Add in *gasp* homeschooling and prepare to feel the fury. Mention that you’re Catholic and you think your husband is the best thing since sliced bread? Game.Over. You’re just a weirdo now.
The thing that most people, myself included, forget is that just because something is hard doesn’t necessarily mean it’s bad. Or not worth it. Or something to avoid. Folks are praised for their hard work in their careers and rewarded by earning a promotion. Praised for their hard work at losing weight/quitting smoking/eating healthy. It’s high time that the norm becomes mamas owning their hard work, instead of making it so mamas think they need to hide it. There’s no need to pretend it’s far easier than it is.
Within struggle we can find joy, and opportunities to grow in faith and in virtue. We can make our entire day a prayer to God, and through that God gives us the graces we need to succeed in this path He’s laid out for us. We can take pride in our work in shaping our children (and ourselves in the process), and see the beauty of God’s creation in them and know that despite the mistakes and the hardship we can see His hand in all of it.
If we get out of our own way. And stay off Facebook.
That being said I’m going to start being proud of how hard I work at being a mama and a wife and a homemaker. I’ll share the struggles behind the joy. I’ll post photos of my messy kitchen because I decided to play play-doh with the kids instead of clean andI had mis-managed my time and wasn’t able to do both. Or the laundry that isn’t folded because my sick self needed to rest and I slacked for the last
year few days so it had piled up. I’ll speak of how tired I am after a full day, but with strong undertones of joy and fulfillment.
Because it’s important to show those things.
And this work is so, so good.